Can't seem to get back into them now that i took a break for a while.
Can't?
Won't?
Why? I don't know what's holding me back, not letting me write them...
Can't?
Won't?
Why? I don't know what's holding me back, not letting me write them...
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Re: Morning Pages
Tue, September 20, 2005 - 8:56 AMMe too...it's been months and still I procrastinate. Each day a new reason (at least I'm creative about something!) -
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Re: Morning Pages
Tue, September 20, 2005 - 6:33 PMOk, tell yourself tomorrow morning that you're going to sit down and write ONE PAGE only, and it's going to be all about the fact that you haven't been doing your morning pages! :)
(It worked for me...!)
Oh, and then you have to come back here and tell us that you did it. -
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Re: Morning Pages
Tue, September 20, 2005 - 6:42 PMAlright, I am going to try to do this. -
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Re: Morning Pages
Wed, September 21, 2005 - 8:59 AMNo, but I will try again tomorrow. I could really use the writing time as my mother was just diagnosed with cancer, but I'm finding it very hard to drag myself out of bed some mornings. -
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Re: Morning Pages
Wed, September 21, 2005 - 11:26 AMI am really sorry to hear about your mother and I empathize with not doing the thing you know will help you most...someday I will understand what that is about for me...I'm beginning to suspect that it is about anger. I've heard that depression is anger turned inward, I think sometimes that's true for me. I wonder if you broke it down even smaller and just wrote one line...or start today over and do your morning pages now? Sending good thoughts for you and your mother... -
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Re: Morning Pages
Wed, September 21, 2005 - 12:27 PMI'm sorry to hear about your mom too...I hope things work out. Now would be a really good time to start writing, if you can. What if you write in bed? Put your journal by the bedside? -
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Re: Morning Pages
Wed, September 21, 2005 - 1:23 PMThanks for the well wishes on my mom. It could be used as an excuse not to write, but I'm realizing it should be an even greater impetus to write. The bedside is a great idea. I think I will try that.
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Re: Morning Pages
Sun, September 25, 2005 - 5:02 AMI am sorry to hear about your mother too. Don't be too hard on yourself. If you feel inspired to write, write. If you don't, give yourself a break. It's all good.
I'm having a struggle with my Morning Pages too.
It's a relief seeing other people are too.
I'll take the challenge you guys are putting up here on the board of just writing one page today. I'll do that and report back. Thanks.
Ilana
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Re: Morning Pages
Tue, September 20, 2005 - 12:10 PMHi, I actually joined this tribe because I was having this problem! I don't understand why I resist things that I know work for me. Has anyone ever had insight into this problem?
Lori -
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Re: Morning Pages
Wed, September 21, 2005 - 1:19 PMHave you ever read "The War of Art." ? Its a book about artistic (and to a lesser extent, the quest for meaning, and to do meaningful things with your life) resistance. It really almost personifies or anthropomorphizes Resistance. I'm not sure that it dissects, but it twists words and meanings in an interesting way that makes it have resonance with me.
anyway, its a pretty good book that could harmonize with "The Artist's Way." -
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Re: Morning Pages
Wed, September 21, 2005 - 2:09 PMThanks, I'll definitely look into that. I could try dialoguing with the resistance, I haven't done anything like that in a long time. Were you having trouble with resistance when you read the book? If you were, what was the impact of the book on your resistance? -
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Re: Morning Pages
Sun, October 2, 2005 - 10:26 AMI have trouble prioritizing my big goals, i.e. making time for myself and my thoughts and my art, and I tend to try to help other people first. And bask in resentment later. I think the book has had a pretty deep impact on me and resistance because it isn't completely art focused, when it takes on resistance it refers to larger life goals, working through rough times with a loved one, feeling like you are on your life's path, and the depression that ensues when you are not. I'm getting better all the time at seeing what friendships are sinking me, and in what ways I am giving in to resistance.
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Re: Morning Pages
Thu, September 22, 2005 - 7:35 AMThis book sounds very interesting. I think I will check it out too! -
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Re: Morning Pages
Sun, October 2, 2005 - 10:28 AMYay... It is fun, and the guy gets weird and militaristic at points, but kinda tongue in cheek, so its cool.
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Re: Morning Pages
Thu, September 22, 2005 - 11:33 AMI've done my morning pages two days in a row now, what a relief.
This morning I remembered something that really helped me.
I'm not sure where I got this idea but somewhere I was turned on to the idea of thinking of self-discipline as an act of self-love (rather than punishment).
Way back when, I used to put my gas card in my pocket rather than my wallet and lose it or wash it. Somehow I came up with the idea of telling myself that I put my card in my wallet as an act of self-love.
OMG that sounds so hookie to me now but it worked! I guess it was important because I have a tendency to beat myself up when I make mistakes. I'm sure no one can relate to that!
I tried it this morning, I wrote it at the top of my first page--"I am writing these pages as an act of self-love". It worked like a charm. -
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Re: Morning Pages
Tue, November 1, 2005 - 1:39 PMHi,
I'm jumping into this thread in an attempt to revive it. I've recently started "Artist's Way" and my mp's. I, too, am finding it difficult to stick to doing it every day. I would love some regular reminders.
I also wanted to comment on this particular post of Lori's. I liked your self-talk in slanting self-discipline as self-love. It's a choice to *re-interpret* that phrase in a way that works for you now.
It made me think of a mother taking care of a young child. (I am not a mother myself, but I have been a full-time "auntie" several times and have younger siblings.) We all know how mothers can be gentle but firm about bedtime or eating veggies or wearing a coat when it's cold. Even though those "rules" are loving and in the best interest of the child (they are definitely *not* punishment), often small children will still rebel. They don't *want* to go to bed right now (even though they're so tired that their eyelids are drooping closed)--there's more to see and do, thank you very much!
Sometimes, with myself, I find that it's not necessary that I analyze (or even understand) the source of my rebellion or resistance at the moment. Sometimes it works better if I just get started doing the task at hand--even if I don't feel like it. Usually, it will start out difficult, but get easier as I go along (provided I stick to it). Likewise, those little kids usually do fall right to sleep once tucked into bed and they awaken refreshed and better for the experience.
So, maybe the trick is to *just do it* and assume that the very act of writing the mp's will provide some clarity on why you were resisting them.
And, on that note...I'm going to go write right now!
~Christina
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Re: Morning Pages
Thu, September 22, 2005 - 11:41 AMJust decide to write them tomorrow morning. And then, if you write them one day, you'll have energy to write them the following day.
Just remember it's more about enthusiasm than discipline.
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Re: Morning Pages
Fri, September 23, 2005 - 11:27 AMSo Quiche,
Have you had any luck with your morning pages?
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Re: Morning Pages
Mon, September 26, 2005 - 5:47 AMYes, I made myself write them this morning. I still felt a lot of resistance and I didn't enjoy it. There were other things to do. I don't get why I am so resistant. I have loved the morning pages and used to really look forward to them. Now I have to force myself and I get easily distracted. -
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Re: Morning Pages
Mon, September 26, 2005 - 12:31 PMJust throwing thoughts out there...
do you get interrupted? or has that happened in the recent past?
is there anything going on in your life that you're really angry about or should be angry about?
is there anything going on in your life that you really don't want to deal with? Something you might be avoiding?
why did you stop before?
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Re: Morning Pages
Tue, September 27, 2005 - 6:03 AMyes, i think it's the avoidance factor.
thanks
i'll keep trying. -
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Re: Morning Pages
Wed, September 28, 2005 - 3:41 AMWell I did two pages. Thanks for letting me check in. It helped.
Ilana -
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Re: Morning Pages
Wed, September 28, 2005 - 6:05 AMMy first page will just be
AAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
lol
Maybe once THAT's out of my system, I can get back to daily morning pages. -
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Re: Morning Pages
Wed, September 28, 2005 - 9:58 AMThen by all means get that out into the page! That's what MPs are for, and there's no right or wrong in doing them.
I've got some really odd stuff on my MPs... I'm reading them, and they definetely surprise me. Gods, I am creative ;) -
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Unsu...
Re: Morning Pages
Wed, September 28, 2005 - 10:35 AMHi, I'm new and I take it that the morning pages are a journal (correct me if I'm wrong). I've been journaling for many years and I recently found journal bliss. Here's how: 1) I bought a journal small enough to fit in the front pocket of my jeans. 2) it's unlined, so I draw in the lines myself; single-spaced for wordy days, double-triple-quadruple for quiet days. Or I just draw a picture.
Some days I write 6 pages, others only have a paragraph. Life isn't the same day to day, so don't worry if you don't have anything to say or aren't motivated. Some things sound better in past tense anyway, and sometimes you need a few days/months/years to gain perspective. -
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Re: Morning Pages
Sat, October 1, 2005 - 8:03 AMHi,
I'm inspired and grateful to Quiche for creating this tribe. I am not a person who's disciplined or one who likes structure. I like to flow with each moment. So, I want to commit to writing the morning pages, but my mind tells me that I'm gonna have to jump into a box, and it'll be another "thing" to do!
In The Artists Way, under Resistance, I found this: "Doing your artist date, you are receiving, opening yourself to insight, inspiration, guidance."
In this time of my life, I am learning how to receive in many areas of my life. My experience of receiving is that it requires awareness of where in my body this resistance is living, where I feel constriction, (usually my womb or my heart). It requires me to breathe deeply, and let the light and love come into that physical place. It's an amazing process, and you may see visions, of old, painful memories washing away.
I am choosing to see this committment as time to be held in the arms of Spirit, and opening to allow Spirit to move through me...what it wants to flow through me into the world. I'm in awe of what Spirit can cause to flow through each of you, each unique person.
Peace. -
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Re: Morning Pages
Sat, October 1, 2005 - 8:07 AMThanks Laila.
I started my morning pages back up and on day 3, I realized why I wasn't having such resistance. Some serious writing took place. Stuff I didn't want to face.
It helps.
Now...I want to get back to Artist's dates too.
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Re: Morning Pages
Sat, October 1, 2005 - 12:11 PMThank you for this beautiful and graceful post Laila. It helped me to understand why I struggle with resistance as well. I realized two things:
1. Most of the "structure" in my life (especially sructure imposed by others) has worked against me, not for me. In particular, I have often felt rushed when I needed time to really savor the process so I am suspicious of structure. I am only now beginning to be open to the idea that structure can work for me and ultimately I'm the one who decides if it's working or not. I can also modify it to work for me.
2. I am beginning to understand that resistance (for me) means inner conflict and I need to understand the conflict rather than waste my time "resisting the resistance".
Structure and discipline can be a gift I give myself, it it's not a gift then it's probably not useful.
I love the reminder of how we are each so beautiful when we are free to be our best selves. And yes, thank you to Quiche for creating this tribe.
May all beings be happy.
May all beings be at peace.
May all beings be enlightened.
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Re: Morning Pages
Mon, November 21, 2005 - 3:59 PMI've had many a morning page that consisted of nothing more than complaining about having to do morning pages. Quiche's exclamation is arguably more concise. ;)
I think the point is that you should feel free to bring *whatever* is going on with you at that moment onto the page, without judgment or censoring. Once I gave myself that permission, I found that the resistance lessened a little. -
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Re: Morning Pages
Wed, November 23, 2005 - 6:02 AMI just read a book about writing and trauma. It said that people who journal have less doctor's visits than people who don't, i.e. they are healthier. I thought that was interesting.
one of my issues is keeping my morning pages private. I have a step daughter who likes to read my journals. EEEEK. Pisses me off, but moreso, makes me feel violated enough that I fear writing.
I hate to keep everything under lock and key and I hate to destroy them as soon as I write them.
Boobie trap ideas?
~Q~ -
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Re: Morning Pages
Wed, November 23, 2005 - 10:05 PMswitch your diary with hers, so when she goes to find it she feels violated?
I don't know... I could never teach empathy.
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Re: Morning Pages
Wed, February 8, 2006 - 9:32 AMArrrrrgggghhhh! I stopped doing my morning pages again. -
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Re: Morning Pages
Wed, February 8, 2006 - 11:35 AMStart again tomorrow. Not on Friday or the weekend or next week. Tomorrow. That's your only chance. -
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Re: Morning Pages
Wed, February 8, 2006 - 12:07 PMI'm with Awen - just start again tomorrow. There's no need to beat yourself up about it. Just start again tomorrow.
That's the nice thing about morning pages: you're given the chance to get back on track every single day! -
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Re: Morning Pages
Wed, February 8, 2006 - 1:57 PMThanks for the encouragement Awen and D-Sol-D. -
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Re: Morning Pages
Wed, February 8, 2006 - 2:10 PMi'd also encourage you to be aware of beating yourself up for not doing the pages. the threat of *having* to do them may be what keeps your inner child/self/etc. from doing them. if you are "bad" for not doing your morning pages, then the love is rather conditional. you may want to put up an affirmation that says "when I do my morning pages, I am good and when i don't do my morning pages, I am good." what if you try some reverse psychology and reward yourself for *not* doing your morning pages and give your rebellious side a thumbs up.
or
maybe give yourself a "starter sheet" when you wake up- have a piece of paper sitting out for you that says " i don't feel like writing morning pages because..." and then *if you want to* let yourself finish the sentence in the morning. maybe you'll decide to write two sentences about it. maybe three.
you may need to journal about the critic/censor who is condemning you for not writing them. what does he or she have to say about it? is any of it true or is it a meaningless attack?
kman -
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Re: Morning Pages
Wed, February 8, 2006 - 2:22 PMOh, I love this...give my rebellious side a thumbs up! I'm caught up in some really great dialogue online right now, and, gulp, I'm jumping out of bed, and turning on the computer first thing in the morning. And--caught in the act by katranon--beating the bejeezers out of myself for not being "serious" about my work. There's no doubt the online dialogue is feeding my creativity. I have succombed to yet another "should" that doesn't work for me. Now, to have a chat between my inner rebel and my inner critic, always fun to watch those two go at it! -
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Re: Morning Pages
Wed, February 8, 2006 - 2:36 PMso glad you found this useful! i have the same habit (i'm sure many of us do) of making my process "do or die!" i mean, what child wouldn't throw down the pencil and stomp off?
you may even want to wake up and put on a silly hat and a boa before sitting down to type/write. maybe do a mock ballet to the *Importance Of Morning Pages*.
the pages are just a tool- *you* are the art... -
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Re: Morning Pages
Wed, February 8, 2006 - 2:51 PMMock ballet
silly hat
boa
Taking
it ALL
too
seriously
I wonder
if this is why
I'm stuck on my novel
like pinesap
on the keyboard?
Did I
throw down
my pencil
and stomp off?
*i* am
the art.
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Re: Morning Pages
Thu, February 9, 2006 - 6:24 AMGood morning Lori!
Just checking in (checking *in*, not *up*) on you to see what your morning was like. Hope you had fun with whatever it was you chose or chose against doing.
Kman -
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Re: Morning Pages
Sun, February 12, 2006 - 10:54 AMThanks for checking in kman (and Awen) sorry, I didn't respond yesterday...nope, no morning pages, and no fun. After your great post the other day, I did some afternoon pages ;) and what came up was a lot of anger. It shouldn't surprise me, usually when I get blocked it's because I'm angry, and don't want to admit it. I have a hard time with anger, but boy, do I need it, need that rebellious little girl who packed up a sweater and a jar of peanut butter and rode her huffy up into the mountains to live alone cause, as she said ,"I just don't *get* the human race; and thanks, but no thanks."
Why am I angry???? I'm sick of loving (art, writing, science, my house, and so on) and having it ripped away from me, so I'm throwing that fit you mentioned, and refusing to love anything, or anyone. The problem is, love is the juice of my being, without it not much interests me. But I'm going to let her throw her tantrum, and see what comes out of it. (Bet I get some good poetry out of this one.) OUCH, that peanut butter jar hurt. -
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Re: Morning Pages
Mon, February 13, 2006 - 7:48 AMhey Lori!
well, it sounds like your little girl was willing to compromise and give you the afternoon pages. very generous of her. it may feel like there is little she can control, so she isn't willing to be pushed on one more thing. i think it is very good of you to let yourself have the temper tantrum.
mountain and peanutbutter- an oasis and sustainence. is there a clear place you can go that asks nothing of you? no tasks, no lists, no to do's? maybe your little girl would like to go walking there. any comfort food you can buy or make for yourself when you go there? homemade brownies, potatoe casserole, or good old PB and J? it sounds like she needs some time off and just needs to be loved for who she is, not what she's doing or not doing. it may be more important to heal than create right now. creation as an act of healing can come when it comes.
and when i say, "it sounds like"- i'm just saying it sounds that way to *me*. ultimately, your the one that knows exactly what is going on.
check in when you can or when you like!
Kman
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